How To Introduce A Vibrator Into Your Relationship

First, ask your partner how he/she feels about using a vibrator during foreplay and lovemaking. When your partner tells you how he/she feels, really listen and reflect back what you hear.  Once you understand his/her concerns you can address them with the facts about vibrators. Most concerns will be based on myths and misunderstanding about the role of vibrators in partner play.  Read “Myths About Vibrators” to learn more.

If your partner is male, his biggest concern will likely be that the vibrator will serve as a replacement for him or that he is not “good enough” to completely satisfy you.  If this is the case, reassure him that no vibrator cannot love you like he can.  While vibrators do offer intense stimulation, feeling loved and cherished is the gateway for a women’s sexual arousal. Because of this, a vibrator can never be a substitute for his loving arms around you.  Besides, there is nothing more arousing than skin on skin contact with the one you love!

Another fear he may have is that you will not be able to achieve an orgasm without a vibrator once you try it.  This is a myth.  The opposite is actually true.  Studies have proven that the more a woman uses a vibrator, the better her sexual response becomes without a vibrator!  Think of using a vibrator to achieve orgasm as training the body’s natural sexual response system, keeping it “in shape” so it becomes more accessible whenever you want to feel turned-on.  You can easily quell his concerns by using a vibrator occasionally, not every time.  Or use it for part of the time during foreplay and lovemaking, not the entire time.  This will offer reassurance to your lover.

Finally, let your partner know that you view using a vibrator as a fun enhancement to your lovemaking, in the same way you might use music, lingerie or erotica.  Since most men become sexually aroused fairly easily, and about one-third of men ejaculate before they would like to according to a study in the Journal of the American Medical Association, they often forget that many women find it more difficult to become sexually aroused and achieve orgasm.  Consider vibrators as a gift of modern technology which makes satisfying a female lover easier, creating more enjoyment and less stress for both of you.

Most women, 70% in fact, require external stimulation of the clitoris to reach orgasm, while only 30% are able to reach orgasm through intercourse alone.  Most men (and women) don’t realize this because movies generally portray women climaxing during intercourse (which is pure fiction, not reality).  While the average time for a man to reach orgasm is 7.5 minutes of continuous stimulation, it takes the average woman 20 minutes of continuous stimulation of the clitoris to achieve orgasm (that’s a lot of work!).  This explains why many women do not achieve orgasm regularly or fake orgasms to please their partners.  Not experiencing an orgasm or faking orgasm is not a solution and will completely undermine your sexual relationship over time.  

Shop together so you can find a vibrator that appeals to both of you.  Select a vibrator that is non-intimidating in size and shape.  A bullet, such as the bnaughty is an ideal choice for beginning couples because it small, discreetly oval-shaped and it comes with a remote control that your partner can use to create the sensations you enjoy.  Also consider Turn Me On Vibrating Panties, beautiful, soft lace lingerie which serve as a perfect segue way into using vibrators during foreplay.  Another great vibrator for mutual participation and enjoyment is the We Vibe.  Like its’ name suggests, the We Vibe is designed for couples to use during intercourse.  It offers various levels of stimulation for both of you to enjoy simultaneously.  

The Nea is also ideal for use with an uncertain partner, because of it’s small, non-intimidating contoured shape, varied intensities and quiet hum.  You can easily place the Nea on your partner’s perineum or genital region (both male and female), to discover incredibly delightful sensations.  Once you find the spot that makes your partner smile, let your partner hold it there,  while you begin offering oral or manual stimulation, always using quality lubricant for ultimate pleasure!  

Once you decide on a vibrator to try, start slowly.  Use the vibrator for external stimulation, progressing to internal stimulation if desired as you experiment and become more comfortable.  Take turns using it on each other, giving each other feedback on how it’s making you feel.  Communication is key.  Your feedback connects you with your partner and brings him/her into the experience.  Take turns using the vibrator on yourself to show your partner how to best use it on your most sensitive areas.  Learning about your bodies together in this way is an incredibly intimate and bonding experience for both of you.  Like millions of couples have already discovered, you and your partner will likely find vibrators to be a fantastic enhancement to your intimacy and lovemaking, unleashing new levels of sexual fulfillment.